Throughout our lives, we wear a lot of different hats. We’re all defined by our roles, our jobs, and our relationships. We are perceived differently by the various people in our lives, based on the specific dynamics of our interaction with them. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, counselor, friend, sister, cousin, minister, business owner, co-worker, supervisor, employee . . . Well, you get the picture.
In truth, we are, all of us, multi-faceted gems. And the whole is more than just the sum of the parts! But, how many people ever know us truly, in our totality? How many of us even know our own complete, true selves?
[I once met a woman who introduced herself as, “I’m so-and-so’s wife.” No name, just her role. I asked what I should call her, and she seemed confused by the question.]
We evolve and grow, using our roles as the medium by which we come to see ourselves wholly. The difficulty is that, with each role, there come expectations – standards and rules by which we are judged. Am I a “good” wife? A “good” friend? We measure ourselves, our performance, our success, against these external yardsticks. How many of us get stuck in the predefined social persona associated with a single role? When we do, we lose sight of our personal values, our whole selves, our true purpose.
Or we feel conflicted because we don’t “measure up.” Little wonder that we occasionally feel “burnt-out,” “frustrated,” “abandoned,” “desperate.” We sense that “something’s missing.” We become depressed, dissatisfied, disillusioned. These feelings, or lack thereof, are symptomatic of the compartmentalization of our lives, and the isolation and separation of our “physical” from our “spiritual” selves. We lose sight of our whole self.
With joy and thanksgiving I say: I may be different things to different people, but I am constantly my SELF. And I am a work in progress.
To be nobody-but-yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.